I write to conjure up those I’ve lost, and music is my portal. All my books are populated with certain songs and song lyrics; they’re signposts to a time and place yet also tributes to the people who walked this earth when those same songs tumbled out of radios and 8-tracks and HiFi stereos. I always create a playlist for each of my books. For Love, Rita, a memoir about my sister Rita who modeled for me ways to live boldly even as her own life was cut short by lupus, I selected her favorite songs alongside those that remind me of her. I included nearly all of these songs in Love, Rita. I wanted readers to feel they too knew Rita and knew us as sisters, and the songs are a kind of shorthand to that end. Poet Gregory Orr has said that the songs you love deeply help you to live. I believe that’s true. Because Rita and I grew up in Detroit, a majority-Black city – Motown for God’s sake! – she and I were deeply steeped in Black culture, nowhere more so than in the music which yes, helped us to live. Plus, Rita and I came of age in the 1970s, a heyday for Black music; all these songs are from that decade, during Rita’s teens and young adulthood. Collectively, these selections embody the soulful and funky R&B sounds of the era, some tinged with the gospel music Rita also enjoyed. What I love most is that these songs beautifully showcase Black artistry, and that makes me smile because Rita was so proud to be Black, so proud of what Black folks have accomplished in this country, despite it all. I am so proud of her; of what she accomplished despite it all. I share this playlist of songs as anthems to my sister’s extraordinary life — so well-lived in its brevity.
“Soul Power” by James Brown
Back in 1971, we blasted this song on repeat as Rita was getting ready to attend her friend’s Sweet Sixteen party, her first formal affair. She and I danced around the house as James Brown belted out those two words over and over, “Know we need it! Soul power! We got to have it, soul power!” Rita was an anxious teen, and I remember how wonderful it was to see her laughing and acting silly. Besides, the song was so empowering, and those simple lyrics were like funk-infused mantras, a way for us Black folks to settle our bodies, develop some resiliency, blunt the effects of white resentment on our lives. Looking back, I’d say on that day so long ago, James Brown’s lyrics were healing Rita’s soul wound with some soul power. Ironically, years later, James Brown met Rita and wanted to date her. But she knew enough to decline. His reputation as an abusive, violent man was well-known. Rita liked his music, but that was it.
“Clean up Woman by Betty Wright
This song conjures another sweet memory of a light moment when Rita was still a teen. We’re in the kitchen, eating freshly fried catfish. Clean up Woman comes on the radio, and Rita starts belting out the catchy lyrics: “A clean up woman is a woman who gets all the love we girls leave behind!” Then with a brilliant comedic stroke, Rita grabs the broom and glides it across the floor as sings along, “The cleanup woman, she’ll sweep him off his feet. She’s the one who’ll take him in when you dump him in the street!” I laughed so hard as she swept that broom around like a dance partner, watching her the way I loved her best. Whenever I’m in my car driving and I hear this song play on SiriusXM’s Classic Soul channel, I can’t stop smiling.
“Respect Yourself” by The Staple Singers
Songs of empowerment dominated the airwaves the summer of 1972, when Rita left for college, and this gospel-infused hit was everywhere; it was one of Rita’s all-time favorite songs. When I think about it now, Mavis Staples could’ve been singing directly to Rita, her deep, lusty voice a promising invitation to freedom. “I know a place,” she shared in confidence. “Ain’t nobody cryin’….I’ll take you there….!” Rita was on her way to a special new place, and despite what was happening in the country – including Watergate and Vietnam – we were an optimistic Black family that late August day. Rita was headed off to college!
“Boogie Oogie Oogie” by Taste of Honey
Rita went to Fisk University, an historic HBCU in Nashville; One of her freshman year classmates was a young woman named Hazel Payne. Rita says she’d sit on the floor outside her dorm room, playing her guitar. Hazel didn’t return to Fisk the next year, and fast-forward a few years: There she is as part of the R&B group A Taste of Honey. The summer Rita entered grad school, the group had their one major hit, Boogie Oogie Oogie, the disco anthem of the era, with Hazel playing electric guitar and her co-lead, Janice-Marie, playing bass guitar. This was unprecedented for two Black women to be fronting a band while playing guitar solos. A Taste of Honey became the first Black performers to win a Grammy for Best New Artist, and one of my fondest memories is staying up late with Rita so we could watch them perform on Burt Sugarman’s The Midnight Special, which didn’t air in Detroit until one a.m.!
Neither One of Us (Wants to Be the First to Say Goodbye) by Gladys Knight and the Pips
Gladys Knight was riding high with this song in 1973, soon after I’d gone to see Lady Sings the Blues with Diana Ross and fell in love with her renditions of Billie Holiday songs. But Rita was a true-blue Gladys Knight fan, and she especially loved this song. In Love, Rita, I use these two vocalists as examples of how Rita and I were distinctly different: Rita chose to attend Fisk University, but announced to me one day that I belonged at Spelman College, a Black women’s college in Atlanta, because, as she put it, the girls there were “like you.” I was only 12, but I knew exactly what she meant. Diana Ross was a glamorous, megawatt star, rarified and one step removed, which you understood and accepted, but you felt you knew Gladys Knight, the Empress of Soul, as down-to-earth and friendly, someone to give you good advice, help you keep it real. Diana Ross would’ve gone to Spelman. Gladys Knight would’ve gone to Fisk.
“Home” by Stephanie Mills from The Wiz Original Soundtrack
In 1978, Rita and I took our very first trip together, to visit New York for the first time. While in the Big Apple, we saw our first Broadway musical, The Wiz, featuring Stephanie Mills as Dorothy. Hearing her sing “Home” was an extraordinary experience, in part because Rita and I had just lost our father, and this trip was meant to help assuage our grief. When Mills sang, “When I think of home, I think of a place where there’s love overflowing,” Rita grabbed my hand. Our father had loved us so, and his absence hit us hard in that moment, and it instantly brought us closer. That’s the elixir of a powerful song. When the lights went up, Rita vowed that she “loved everything about it”, and so began her love of Broadway musicals, which she’d travel to New York to see over and over. I really believe it’s in part because of the emotion and longing that a singer like Stephanie Mills can evoke from the stage. Sometimes the right song can assuage our grief, ever so slightly — to have its beauty wash over us when we most need it to.
“I’m Every Woman,” by Chaka Khan
Chaka Khan was Rita’s favorite female vocalist. She loved her music, for sure, and she loved that this “Queen of Funk” could really blow, and belt out high notes like no other. This song’s debut was such a big deal because it established Chaka Khan as a solo artist, beyond her career with the funk band Rufus. “I’m Every Woman” came out just as Rita was starting graduate school and I was starting college, both of us in Atlanta, our schools walking distance from one another. We bonded over our love of this song. Ritaloved Chaka Khan too because she was her contemporary, and a rare Black woman born in the 1950s who was unapologetically herself – wearing her hair natural, flaunting an exotic self-chosen name, choosing a bohemian yet sexy style, and exerting utter fearlessness and power as a singer. Chaka Khan was truly distinguished, like nothing any of us had ever seen before! Besides we saw her hit songs as true anthems to Black womanhood. On a related note, Chaka Khan has always reminded me of Rita – that same provocative style and flair, the flowing tresses, and her diminutive stature coupled with a big personality. Yet, Chaka Khan, like Rita, always manages to project both warmth and realness. In that way, she’s the best of every woman, and so was Rita.
“You Are My Friend” by Patti Labelle
This became one of Patti Labelle’s signature songs, which she wrote for her son. Rita and I heard her perform it live at a concert in Atlanta, when Patti LaBelle opened for Richard Pryor. Rita was in grad school, I was in college, and we were ushers for Pryor’s comedy show. Patti LaBelle was amazing that night, of course, and her performance was one of the reasons that evening turned out to be so special. It was a pivotal moment in our relationship as sisters, as we were now both young women away from home, forming a genuine bond without sibling rivalry, becoming true friends. Needless to say, Patti’s song and its lyrics resonated with us that night.
“Déjà vu (I’ve Been Here Before)” by Teena Marie
Before this particular stand-up performance featuring Richard Pryor began back in 1978, Rita and I listened to this amazing R&B singer whose powerful soprano tumbled out the speakers of the venue; both Rita and I wondered, Who is that? We didn’t recognize her voice but as we used to say, she could blow. Months later, Rita showed up at my dorm room to gift me a copy of that singer’s debut album, Wild and Peaceful. Because the album cover didn’t have her picture on it, everyone – including all the disc jockeys playing her music on Black radio – assumed the singer was Black. Only when she appeared on Soul Train with Rick James later that year, performing “I’m a Sucker for Your Love,” did we discover that Teena Marie was in fact a white girl. (And the first one to appear on Soul Train). She was the same age as Rita, who would forever love Teena Marie’s music. Déjà vu is my favorite song by her, and when she sings, “I’m young and I’m old, I’m rich and I’m poor, I feel I’ve been on this earth many times before…” I think of Rita, who had a wise spirit about her that made folks believe she’d been here before.
“I Want Your Love”, by Chic
I’ve always loved this classic disco song produced by the brilliant producer Niles Rodgers and his writing partner Bernard Edwards. Rodgers has said the lyrics came from his experience being in love with a girl who was the best friend of his girlfriend. But it was only while working on Love, Rita that I learned about the song’s significance in Rita’s life. When she was in her early ‘20s, she fell in love with a man named Zachary; he recently told me that when they were at the height of their intense romance, this song dominated the airwaves, and the hypnotic lyrics perfectly captured their passion. “Do you ever feel like you ever want to try my love and see how well it fits? Baby… I want your love. I need your love.” It gives me joy to think about Rita in love, which is what I now think about every time I hear this song.