Parisa Akhbari’s Just Another Epic Love Poem is one of the most moving YA novels I have ever read.
Publishers Weekly wrote of the book:
“Akhbari skillfully enmeshes myriad poetic styles with organic depictions of Iranian culture and food, and channels the insecurities of adolescence and the overlapping pressures of growing up to worthy effect in this promising debut.”
In her own words, here is Parisa Akhbari’s Book Notes music playlist for her novel Just Another Epic Love Poem:
For my contemporary young adult novel, Just Another Epic Love Poem, I drew from my own experiences as a queer, Iranian American teen raised in a stuffy Catholic school. The novel follows Mitra and Bea, two queer best friends trapped in Catholic school who have been writing a never-ending poem back and forth since they were thirteen. Now seniors, they’re discovering how the poem–and their relationship–transforms as they fall in love with one another.
Music was like a time machine for me in high school. While my friends thought the music I listened to was weird, it transported me to a place and a time where I could imagine other people like me existing happily. Music let me envision a future in which I could be both weird and loved and accepted. In writing Epic Love, I leaned on music that provoked the same type of hopeful yearning in me. As you can imagine, this culminated in a very feelings-heavy, exceedingly queer playlist.
Prophet–King Princess
Anytime I start a new writing project, I usually start with just one image. I’ve got a picture of something in my head that hooks my attention, and that image becomes a scene, and then a chapter, and then 400 pages later, it’s a whole dang book. For Just Another Epic Love Poem, that first image was of two queer girls in their uniforms sitting in church, splitting earbuds to listen to a King Princess song. That image became the first chapter of the novel. The queer irreverence of King Princess felt right when establishing Bea’s attitude toward Catholic school.
Soft Stud–Black Belt Eagle Scout
Black Belt Eagle Scout grew up in the Puget Sound area, not far from where the novel takes place in Bellevue. The blend of northwest grunge rock and traditional Coast Salish music really pinned me to the setting, and the aching queer longing in her music powered me through lots of unrequited love scenes between Mitra and Bea.
READY–Montaigne
Montaigne was on heavy rotation during my writing of Epic Love because they have a knack for building songs up to an explosive, swelling tension, then bursting them open into a kind of operatic finish. It was just the right fuel when writing Mitra as she wrestles with her feelings for Bea. The lyrics, “I need a little spark/ A light in bitter dark” speak to the relationship Mitra has with poetry–and with Bea–throughout the novel. In an otherwise stifling environment, poetry and Bea give Mitra these bright sparks of joy and self-expression.
Off the Ground–Anderson.Paak
If I could cue one song to play during Mitra and Bea’s first kiss, it would be this one. There’s something in the instrumentals and the smoothness of Paak’s voice that makes visceral the weightless possibility of first love. At the same time, there’s the grounding sense of being fully present and in the moment, and a sense that anything could happen. “Let it be yours, let it carry you/ Sweep the fear from your heart/ If you need you can go there/ If you see what you want, then go there.”
Dolerme, MALAMENTE – Cap.1: Augurio, & PIENSO EN TU MIRÁ – Cap.3: Celos–Rosalía
“Dolerme” held a special place in my playlist throughout the writing of Epic Love because the heartache is palpable, even if you don’t speak Spanish. (Plus, in the music video she dances in front of a stained-glass window. Perfect for angsty Catholic school vibes or what?) Mitra and Bea listen to Rosalía’s album El Mal Querer in Bea’s empty home after Winter Formal, when they’re still nervous and giddy from their first public outing as a couple. I picture the percussive beat of tracks like “PIENSO EN TU MIRÁ” and “MALAMENTE” drumming at the tension inside them, as they fumble their way through the transition from best friends to girlfriends.
Don’t Judge Me–Janelle Monáe
I’d probably try to shoehorn a Janelle Monáe song in here even if it didn’t apply, because she’s my musical icon, but “Don’t Judge Me” speaks to some of the central emotional themes of Epic Love. Mitra grapples with shame throughout the book, believing that Bea can’t love her, believing that she’ll screw up their relationship once she learns Bea does love her, and fearing that she–like her mother–will hurt and disappoint the people she loves. All of this is layered on top of the reality that simply existing as a queer kid in Catholic school can breed shame. Monáe’s lyrics spotlight these deep insecurities of Mitra’s: “Even though you tell me you love me/ I’m afraid that you just love my disguise.”
Mohabbat–Arooj Aftab
Arooj Aftab’s bare, Sufi- and jazz-infused music was a constant companion for me when writing the novel. Her cover of “Mohabbat,” a century-old poem-turned-song, felt like the musical counterpart to Mitra’s main source of wisdom throughout the novel: Hafez’s poetry collection, the Divān. Just like Mitra calls on the Divān to divine spiritual answers through her unknowns, I drew from “Mohabbat” to guide my way toward the emotional heart of the novel.
The Only Heartbreaker–Mitski
If Mitra had only one anthem, it might be this one. “The Only Heartbreaker” is a perfect ballad for a kid who knows she’s self-sabotaging, but doesn’t know how to stop it. Mitski sings, “So I’ll be the loser in this game/ I’ll be the bad guy in the play/ I’ll be the water main that’s burst and flooding/ you’ll be by the window, only watchin’.” The self-awareness that she is destroying something, but can’t stop herself from doing so, resonates with some of the bleakest moments Mitra weathers.
Lala Lar – Azarbaijan–Rastak
As a member of the diaspora who has never been able to visit my Iranian family’s homeland, I’ve connected to my culture through the traditions that transcend borders, like food, art, and music. I picture the traditional instruments of Rastak’s Iranian folk music playing in the background during scenes at Mitra’s mother’s apartment. My paternal uncle has been a prolific tabla and tombak drummer throughout my life, so the percussion of Iranian folk music is an especially nostalgic sound for me.
All Mirrors–Angel Olsen
Angel Olsen’s signature longing synthesizes with a haunting strangeness in “All Mirrors” that Olsen describes as “like a beehive.” The swarming, growing tension created just the atmosphere I needed to write scenes of loss in Epic Love, and her lyrics drive the message home: “Losin’ beauty, at least at times it knew me.” Olsen says she chose this song’s title because she liked the “theme of how we are all mirrors to and for each other.” Mitra has many mirrors in Epic Love, as she compares herself to her sister, to Bea, and–hardest of all–to her mother, who has caused heartache and destruction in her life. Mitra also uses poetry, such as Hafez’s Divān, Naomi Shihab Nye’s “Kindness,” and Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet, as mirrors to better understand her own experiences.
In My Eyes–Robyn
There’s an optimistic energy and ferocity to Robyn’s music that, to me, embodies Mitra’s younger sister, Azar. Mitra and Azar have a complicated relationship: they’re both fighting for independence, and want to believe that they don’t need each other. Mitra can’t figure out how to be a big sister to Azar now that she’s grown and doesn’t need protecting. I liked the idea of Mitra relying on music when she doesn’t know how to comfort Azar through hard times. The sisters need a language to link them, and Robyn becomes that language. A few lyrics even made it into the final draft of the book, like a promise Mitra offers to Azar: “Little star, I got you/ I got you, you’ll be okay/ you’ll be okay.”
look up–Joy Oladokun
I hope readers of Just Another Epic Love Poem leave their time in Mitra’s world with the hopefulness I feel when listening to “look up.” The spirituality and expansiveness in Joy Oladokun’s folk music communicates a beautiful self-acceptance. This song guided me through writing the third act of Epic Love, especially these lines: “Tomorrow keeps taunting you with all kinds of mystery, it’s a/ blank page for your poetry, if you let it be.”
Parisa Akhbari is a writer and mental health therapist from Seattle, Washington. When not writing or therapizing, she can be found trying to replicate her grandmother’s drool-worthy Persian recipes, hanging out with disability community, and marathoning sci-fi movies with her partner and dogs. Just Another Epic Love Poem is her debut novel.