David Ebenbach’s novel Possible Happiness is a vividly told and highly empathetic coming-of-age novel.
Booklist wrote of the book:
“Ebenbach has written a beautiful coming-of-age novel with a highly empathic, multidimensional character who comes alive on the page. The mood and tone are spot on, contributing to a memorable reading experience.”
In his own words, here is David Ebenbach’s Book Notes music playlist for his novel Possible Happiness:
You’re definitely going to notice a unifying force in this playlist. First of all, in honor of my new novel, Possible Happiness, which is a funny-serious coming-of-age story set in the late eighties in Philadelphia, the music on this list all came out in, well, the late eighties. This playlist represents some of the key stuff that I listened to back when I was coming of age—and again while I was writing this book. The novel as a whole rotates around music, the way teenagers’ lives usually do. But, more particularly, I really hope you like Nine Inch Nails’ song “Head Like a Hole”—because that song showed up in my life like an earthquake back in the day, and so it sits at the center of not just the novel (more on that below) but also, as you’ll soon see (or hear), this playlist.
Thanks so much to David G for hosting this series and for having me back!
“Head Like a Hole (Cinematic Version),” cover by Sam Tinnesz and WorldWide Groove Corporation
This is a pretty dramatic cover of the Nine Inch Nails original, and I think it fits; a teenager’s life tends to feel pretty dramatic when it’s being lived. Certainly my main character, Jacob, feels that way—and he has some good reasons. Also, for what it’s worth, I like the sound of “Cinematic Version.” Could Possible Happiness make a good movie? You tell me!
“Where Do the Children Go,” by the Hooters
For a little while, I was considering Where Do the Children Go as a title for my novel. I grew up with the Hooters (not the weird restaurant chain but a Philly band) and I loved all of their stuff, but this track stands out for its earnest and halfway-desperately searching voice. Jacob thinks about it early in the book as he and his friend Eric plan a party that (little does he know it) is going to upend his nonexistent social life.
“Stray Cat Strut,” by the Stray Cats
The Stray Cats use this song, which plays during the novel’s first big party, to paint a picture of a swaggering “ladies’ cat,” which is definitely not a description of the main character of this novel. But he is an outsider, and of course he wishes that that could translate into something like coolness. And he is, like the cat of the song, ready to do some howling.
“On a Roll,” by Ashley O
If you’re a fan of Black Mirror, you’ll already know this clever bubblegum remake of “Head Like a Hole,” which transforms it from an angst-storm into a sunny bop about self-confidence. In Possible Happiness, Jacob attempts to turn his own active angst-storm (these days we would call it depression) into something sunnier by leaning on his sense of humor. One of the central questions of the book is whether you can get to genuine happiness that way, or whether you have to do some self-work that cuts a little deeper.
“True Faith,” by New Order
If you’re going to have an 80s playlist of semi-alternative music, I think you have to include New Order, so here we are. This song used to make us go crazy back in the day. The book also has a significant emotional moment for Jacob when he learns exactly what happened to make the band Joy Division become New Order.
“Head Like a Hole,” by Nine Inch Nails
The original. The best. When Jacob hears it in the Philly club Revival: “And then that same song came on—the one from the car the previous week—screaming abouthow someone had a head like a hole and Jacob was just eating it up, just really agreeing with everything that was coming out of those speakers. The singer really hated that head like a hole, which somehow felt great rather than terrible. Jacob closed his eyes and started jumping, jumping, jumping—”
“Desire,” by U2
This is another song that shows up at a party partly hosted by Jacob—a party where what he wants gets tangled up in what he’s afraid of.
“I Wanna Be Sedated,” by the Ramones
One of the things that makes Jacob’s life hard is that he’s growing up in an era and a cultural context where there isn’t much language available to him to help him understand his depression—let alone any idea of medication. And so, when he hears this song, he wonders what he wants.
“Head Like a Hole—the Gost Remix,” cover by Carnifex
Adolescence is crazy—kids in a state of emotional chaos go out and explore the chaotic world, mixing almost exclusively with other kids who are barely holding it together themselves. And so they turn to anything that can help them handle life. For Jacob, one of the things that seems to give him a grip is anger. “At Revival he studied all those people who seemed to be able to make sadness into anger and to make anger a happy thing. While the music pounded, he’d throw punches into his own dancing, the way the guys around him were doing, and stomp his sneakers as hard as he could.” Of course, as Jacob’s going to discover, anger cuts in more than one direction.
“Joy and Pain,” by Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock
I’m including some late 80s hip-hop in part because Jacob is growing up in West Philadelphia, where almost everyone around him is African American, and where neighbors Jacob’s age are listening to hip-hop. And yet his new friend group is entirely white and they’re listening to Nine Inch Nails, Depeche Mode, and New Order. That tension runs through the novel, and shows up somewhat in the hands of Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock, who were crossover hitmakers. Their music does get played at a couple of the novel’s parties, while the tension around race lives on.
“Bust a Move,” by Young MC
Anger isn’t the only thing that steadies Jacob, and it isn’t the only thing that gets him into trouble. Can having a girlfriend make everything make sense? Or does it just add more confusion to the pile?
“Head Like a Hole,” by Twinkle Twinkle Little Rock Star
Did you know that there are lullaby versions of Nine Inch Nails on Spotify? Well, you do now. And this discovery made me think about Jacob, when the world becomes too much for him, and he takes to bed for hours—or even days—at a time. “When he was alone, Jacob slept and he didn’t sleep. He ate a little of the food. He stared at the radiator next to his bed, which clanged sometimes. He felt how much every part of him weighed. How much the air weighed on him.”
“New Sensation” by INXS
Is there a way forward when you’ve got depression? I’m here to tell you that there is. In his healthiest moments, INXS lead singer Michael Hutchence knew that, too. I wish he’d known it in all of his moments. As he pleads in this song, “Don’t let your pain take over you.”
“Head Like a Hole,” by the Midnite String Quartet
And here’s the final cover. A lot softer than Nine Inch Nails, let alone Carnifex, and quite a bit less dramatic than Sam Tinnesz. But it’s also more real than Ashley O, and, unlike Twinkle Twinkle Little Rock Star, it’s not for people who want to be asleep. It’s for people who want to wake up.
also at Largehearted Boy:
David Ebenbach’s playlist for his poetry collection What’s Left to Us by Evening
David Ebenbach’s playlist for his novel How to Mars
David Ebenbach’s playlist for his poetry collection Some Unimaginable Animal
David Ebenbach’s playlist for his short story collection The Guy We Didn’t Invite to the Orgy
David Ebenbach is the author of ten books of fiction, poetry, and non-fiction, winners of awards like the Drue Heinz Literature Prize and the Juniper Prize, among others. He lives with his family in Washington, DC, where he works at Georgetown University, teaching creative writing and literature and supporting faculty and grad students in their own student-centered and inclusive teaching.