Julia Dahl’s novel I Dreamed of Falling is an impressive character-driven literary thriller.
Booklist wrote of the book:
“The definition of gut-wrenching… I Dreamed of Falling is a perfectly crafted thriller that goes beyond a classic whodunit. Layered with complicated character arcs, unforeseen twists, and well-thought-out details, this novel―and the circumstances surrounding Ashley’s death―will be on the minds of readers well after they’ve finished.”
In her own words, here is Julia Dahl’s Book Notes music playlist for her novel I Dreamed of Falling:
I Dreamed of Falling is the story of a fractured multigenerational family struggling to manage the mysterious death of one of their own. It’s a story about the ways life can disappoint and enrage you, and about the desperation – both quiet and rageful – that disappointment can create. It’s also a story about the different ways we love – romantic, parental, unrequited – and the ways we can inadvertently fail the people we love.
When I was writing, I wanted to listen to music that was a mix of different kinds of angry and sad, with longing and miscommunication at the heart. Below are the songs that moved me.
“betty” by Taylor Swift
I confess that I’ve never really been a big Taylor Swift fan. I admire her songwriting, but don’t usually love her sound. That changed when folklore came out just as I was starting to write this book. It was mid-pandemic and I was taking a lot of walks, so I listened to it in a way I’d never listened to her. I liked that the album was less pop-y than her previous ones, and it struck me as more explicitly character-based storytelling instead of confessional. IDOF is about a pair of high school sweethearts trying to navigate adulthood, and “betty” – with its teenage male POV; its simple, familiar story of longing and hope; and its ability to capture the fleeting magic and particular heartache young love – reminded me of a Bruce Springsteen song in all the best ways.
“Come to my Window” by Melissa Etheridge
The love story at the center of IDOF is between Roman and Ashley. It’s a non-traditional relationship: they fell for each other as young teens, have an open relationship, Ashley is bisexual, they stayed together while living 3000 miles apart, and had a baby together without getting married. Almost no one in their families or community gives their relationship a chance, but they hold on to each other through it all. As Etheridge sings with such intensity: “I don’t care what they say/ what do they know about this love anyway?”
“If You Don’t Love Me (I’ll Kill Myself)” by Pete Droge
There’s a lot of desperation in IDOF. People failing each other and lying to each other and losing each other, and then trying to find a way to rebuild trust and love – when sometimes that’s simply impossible. This song captures that desperation in a way that’s crass and humorous, but also, it feels like, very honest.
“Back to Me” by Kathleen Edwards
Kathleen Edwards is one of my favorite singer-songwriters and this song is the angry roar of a woman scorned. It’s that theme of desperation again, this time from a woman’s point of view; a woman using her power – her body, her mind, her family – to “make you come back to me.”
“The Mother” by Brandi Carlile
Other than desperation, the main theme of IDOF is that parenthood is really fucking hard. It will change you, ready or not. This song by another of my favorite singer-songwriters captures the heart splitting joy and total chaos that a child brings into a family’s life.
“Born Slippy” by Underworld
One of the main characters in this book was a teenage mother, who found out she was pregnant in 1997 on a senior trip to Europe. This song, which appears on the “Trainspotting” soundtrack (the first movie I ever reviewed, for my college paper), is eerie and feral and I imagine her in a dark Italian dance club trying to slide into oblivion with its pumping techno beat.
“S.O.S. (Sawed Off Shotgun)” by The Glorious Sons
This song is a simple, straightforward a tale of mental illness, addiction, and poverty in the twenty-first century.The infectious chorus and the mix of (yes) desperation and pride in the growl of the singer’s voice makes it almost like an anthem.
“Hey, they sent the tax man, I lost my job and you got hooked on oxycotin/
They shut the lights off, they took the car and I bought a sawed off shotgun”
When I listen to this song I remember how close to the edge of catastrophe – financial, psychological – we all are.
“SuperNatural Possession” by Laura Jane Grace
My husband introduced me to Laura Jane Grace and this two-minute song, with its power cords and distortion, demands you roll down the windows and scream along. It’s angry and desperate and I love it.
“One” by U2
Is there a better song about trying to love a broken person?
“Six O’Clock News” by Kathleen Edwards
This song contains spoilers, but it’s a beautiful, sad story of a woman trying (desperately) to reach her (desperate) man before it’s too late for both of them.
Julia Dahl is the author of Conviction, Run You Down, and Invisible City, which was a finalist for the Edgar Award for Best First Novel, one of the Boston Globe’s Best Books of 2014, and has been translated into eight languages. A former reporter for CBS News and the New York Post, she now teaches journalism at NYU.